6825 E Hampden Ave Suite 202, Denver, CO 80224
Telehealth for Colorado
All appointments are virtual only
Adam Stanford, LPC, LAC
Start your journey to a better relationship with couples therapy
Is the joy you once had slipping away?
One of the most painful experiences in life is feeling bitterness and animosity for the person you love. Almost every conflict, even over little things, can turn into a painful fight.
Sometimes instead of partners in life you feel like adversaries. You keep replaying things they’ve said to you and things you’ve said to them. Every little criticism, every implication that you’re not good enough. Things like, “I didn’t do anything wrong so that’s just your problem and you need to fix it.”
Conflict is so difficult that one of you might even just shut down and stare blankly. It becomes a strain to see the positives anymore and the trauma continues to build.
Perhaps days, or weeks, or even months go by when you don’t feel a special bond at all anymore. You wonder what it would be like if you could just have a disagreement without it blowing up. If you could just treat each other like partners and not opponents. If you could feel the love and appreciation that you used to.
You know you can’t erase what has already happened, but isn’t there someway to be happy together again?
There is a way, and couples therapy can help you find it.
Most couples could be happier together with the help of couples therapy
In fact, almost one-fifth of people in the U.S. report that they are unhappy in their relationship, and only about one-tenth report no concerns (1). We all know it’s only human to disagree and even the healthiest couples argue. But numerous people struggle to manage their emotions and maintain healthy communication.
Feeling angry at, insecure with, or threatened by someone you trust and committed yourself to can easily overwhelm your mind and body. It may trigger past traumas all the way from your childhood, through past relationships, and into previous events from your current relationship. The limbic system in the brain can’t tell the difference between past and present so every pain feels real at once.
Most of us have never been taught the right communication and calming skills to prevent and overcome this process but couples therapy can change this.
We have decades of research to explain what causes couples to grow apart, how negativity and betrayal spread over time, and what we can do to turn it all around. Couples therapy research has given us the answer to what happens in the mind and body in unhappy relationships, and how the positive dynamic between two people erodes. People who research what make couples therapy effective have developed proven strategies that go beyond talking about your feelings using “I statements.” Advanced couples therapy techniques help people foster the best relationships they can have, sometimes on a deeper level than couples previously imagined.
No one in history understood these problems as well as we do now, and quality couples therapy will help you identify exactly what isn’t working as well as provide guidance on how to repair it.
With Gottman Method Couples Therapy it is possible to get the joy and connection back
I only use therapeutic approaches that are proven to be highly effective through reputable clinical research and have completed Level 3 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and marriage counseling. This wealth of information is used to create a unique treatment plan explaining the strengths, challenges, complexities, and treatment goals. During couples therapy sessions, education is provided on how to communicate, support one another, and foster a deeper, more loving connection.
I guide you through using the skills safely so you can practice hashing things out in a much more constructive way than you have been. You will receive all the information you need to then practice these same skills on your own in between sessions.
Couples therapy and can address anything that is getting between the two of you such as emotional disconnect, perpetual problems and disagreements, parenting concerns, affairs and other betrayals, mental illness, and substance use.
There's good reason to have hope
When it comes to helping couples thrive together, nothing else comes close to providing the same thoroughness, guidance, and skills as the Gottman Method. John Gottman became famous for his ability to predict with over 90% accuracy if couples would stay together after listening to them argue for as little as a few minutes. Many couples who have done Emotionally Focused Therapy report that they need something more out of couples therapy, such as more specific strategies to implement and more insight into why things aren’t working.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and marriage counseling is based on The Sound Relationship House to explain exactly how to get to know your partner’s inner world, share fondness and admiration, turn towards one another instead of away, maintain a positive perspective, manage conflict, make life dreams come true, and create shared meaning. The couples therapy and process starts with the most comprehensive relationship assessment out there: the Gottman Relationship Check Up, an interview with both partners, and separate interviews with each partner. This will include the concerns that brought you into couples therapy and usually identify issues you hadn’t even yet considered.
According to The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, over 75% of couples report improvement in their relationship following couples therapy or marriage counseling (2).
Addressing some common concerns when considering couples therapy
"Isn't couples therapy or marriage counseling expensive?"
Couples therapy is definitely an investment that can have a huge pay-off. This is one reason why it is so important to work with a couples therapist who uses proven strategies for lifelong improvement.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy is designed to help you create meaningful change quickly so you can move on with your life. That’s why so much information is gathered right away and everything is outlined within the first few sessions. It’s why couples therapy sessions are as didactic as possible with the focus on practicing skills together instead of talking to the therapist most of the time. The intention is to make sure you address everything you need to, develop skills to maintain all progress on your own, and finish with no reason to return.
"Do we really need this now?
What if our concerns aren't as serious as other couples?"
Many people wait far too long and, on average, couples are unhappy for about six years before seeking couples therapy or marriage counseling (3). How much longer do you want to suffer?
Couples therapy has proven beneficial even when done very early on in a relationship. As I mentioned above, the Gottman Method Couples Therapy assessment and treatment planning process is so complete that it will probably catch things you hadn’t even thought of. You already know a lot about your own relationship, but I know what makes romance flourish to its full potential.
"Digging deeper into these issues together is already hard and discussing them with an outsider feels too vulnerable..."
There is no reward without risk, which means you cannot have love without vulnerability. In couples therapy and with me, you will have a safe, understanding, compassionate space where vulnerability can be embraced. Gottman Method couples therapy provides the structure, direction, and expertise to make overwhelming conversations manageable and productive. I don’t do couples therapy or marriage counseling to judge people, I do it because I want to help and I know how.